Cheetos and dog farts

Yesterday I had a big marketing call with my publisher and there were a lot of people on the conference call including my editor and my agent. I told myself to be cool. I'd kicked Alpha Man upstairs because he has a tendency to forget when I'm on a call and then says inappropriate things because ... well, because he's Alpha Man. Youngest wasn't home yet. All I had to do was mute the call while chewing my Cheetos. The dogs were sleeping at my feet looking like sweet angels so I let them stay. I was concentrating on following along with the presentation and speaking clearly and muting when I was chewing and ... you see where this is going, right? Frat Boy farted.

Audibly.

And did he do this when someone was talking? No. He did not. He did it during a rare lull.

And to think that I believed my biggest worry was the bag of Cheetos. That is my life, people. Cheetos and dog farts. It's really very exciting and glamorous...