How a spider almost killed me

So because my clothes felt a little snugger than I like, I decided to exercise. I pulled down a yoga mat and got to work. Two minutes later I was huffing and puffing and flat on my back. That's when Alpha Man got off the couch. "Don't move," he said. "And close your eyes."

So of course I leapt up and kept my eyes wide open. Which is how I saw the HUGE MASSIVE spider crawling off the mat.

The mat that I had just been on.

Alpha Man caught it so we don't have to move. At least not yet... But I'm done exercising.