Dead Husband Walking...
Me:What are you eating?
Him (mouth full): Nothing
Me: It smells like Oreos.
Me: Are you ... eating Oreos? I thought we were out of cookies!!
Him: There's only four left.
Me: I need two.
Him: I'll give you one.
Me: No! You can't eat just one cookie!!! There's a rule!!!
Him: Show me the book where this rule lives.
Me: I'LL WRITE YOU THE $%#!#$!@ book, give me a second cookie and no one gets hurt!
Him: Is is possible that you need something to go with that cookie?
Him: I was thinking Midol...