Alpha Man (on the phone):On my way home, what do you want for dinner?

Me: Um, I'm good.

Alpha Man: You're good? What does that mean, you always want dinner.

Me: No, really, I'm good, I don't need anything.

Alpha Man: 'Xplain, Lucy.

Me: We have a bad connection, gotta go.

Alpha Man: You need more phlegm in your fake static. Tell me the truth. You just ate a huge bowl of Captain Crunch again and already have a stomach ache, right?

Me: Me? No, of course not. You hid the Captain Crunch.

Alpha Man: Which has never stopped you. I'm at the store. You need the usual?

Me: Yeah.

Alpha Man: Pepto-Bisol coming up...