Update: Winners, randomly chosen, are: JANE NELSON and RANDO. Email me with your choice of print or ebook, with ONE IN A MILLION in the subject, and don't forget your addy! Original post: So cousin Doug's back... I was trying to figure out to best describe him when I remembered I'd written about him six years ago on this very blog. And since nothing has changed, I'm reposting:

For two months, I’ve had two men in the house, Alpha Man and his cousin. Does anyone know what two men plus three kids plus a dog equals? A pack of wolves, that’s what.

But tomorrow, Doug is going home to New York. It’s a shame really, since while he was here, he taught my girls so much:

1. How to assign blame. When something goes wrong -- immediately point a finger at someone else. This delighted my girls, of course, and they’ve adopted the policy.

2. How to fart at the dinner table and insist it was the dog. Another big family pleaser.

3. How to say you can’t do your dishes because they need to soak.

4. How to burp the alphabet. A big hit, as you can imagine.

5. How to eat see-food. Not seafood, but see-food, which is with your mouth open. He who grosses out the person across from them wins.

While l'll miss having two men to boss around and bitch at, good-bye Doug. May some day you have children so I can return the favor …

And that my friends, is my Doug story. Either share your own visiting family story or commiserate with me and two of you will win my next book ONE IN A MILLION. (p.s. don't forget HE'S SO FINE is out right now!!!!)