Me:What are you eating?

Him (mouth full): Nothing

Me: It smells like Oreos.

Him: ...

Me: Are you ... eating Oreos? I thought we were out of cookies!!

Him: There's only four left.

Me: I need two.

Him: I'll give you one.

Me: No! You can't eat just one cookie!!! There's a rule!!!

Him: Show me the book where this rule lives.

Me: I'LL WRITE YOU THE $%#!#$!@ book, give me a second cookie and no one gets hurt!

Him: Is is possible that you need something to go with that cookie?

Me: Milk?

Him: I was thinking Midol...